There are many reasons your partner might be falling into unhealthy behaviors. It could range from family issues to depression. But whatever the reason, your partner might have developed an unhealthy habit that could potentially destroy the relationship. Has your partner been doing unhealthy things lately? When this happens, it can feel like your whole life is being flipped upside down. You want to help your partner, but how can you help them the right way? How can you encourage them instead of discourage them?
Our Pittsburgh matchmakers understand that every circumstance is different, and every solution will vary. But at the end of the day, you need to be by their side. Don’t be afraid to get down and dirty and help them fix this problem. Rather than walking away, show your partner that you love them by using these expert tips from our Pittsburgh matchmakers.
How to Help Your Partner Beat Their Unhealthy Habits
Are you ready to help your partner beat their unhealthy habits? Read this helpful guide from our Pittsburgh matchmakers and help them kick their bad habits—once and for all.
1. Know that it’s not your fault.
Everyone makes their own choices, and everyone has their own way of coping with everything life throws at them. It is easy to point the finger at your partner, especially if it’s something serious. But if you cannot understand why they’ve falling into bad behaviors, try not to immediately point the finger.
For instance, your partner might have lost the job they worked so hard for, causing them to turn to unhealthy choices to cope with the harsh reality. If this is the case, try to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing. It could also be family issues or outside stress that is causing them to behave this way, none of which are your fault. Always keep this in mind or you’re going to feel insecure in the relationship.
2. Talk to your partner in a calm and constructive way.
You need to talk to your partner and figure out what is going on. You need to get their point of view and you must voice your own concerns. It might be hard for your partner to open up and tell you what’s going on. They might act defensive and claim there is nothing going on.
Don’t feel bad if they don’t want to acknowledge their problem right away. This is completely normal. You simply want to state your concerns so your partner knows where you stand on the problem.
Both of you should be levelheaded when this conversation takes place. And again, no finger pointing. This conversation needs to be repeated until your partner understands they have a problem and realizes you are just trying to help them overcome it.
3. Provide reasonable solutions.
It might be hard to find common ground, especially if there is something serious going on. You don’t need to come up with an immediate solution to the problem. Instead, suggest short term solutions that will eventually fix the problem.
For instance, if your partner has a drinking problem, you can promise them not to nag, not as long as they try to limit their alcohol consumption. Afterwards, you can warm them up to the idea of maybe getting professional help. Remember that in order to help your partner, you must help them set and achieve little goals first.
4. Don’t accept lies.
Make sure you stand firm on this issue; otherwise, your partner might try to lie about it. Don’t take this to heart because that’s what people do to make things easier all around. They might claim they have stopped drinking when you know it’s not true. Make it clear that you will not accept lies.
5. Figure out your limits.
You need to figure out how much you’re willing to put up with before walking away. At some point, if your partner refuses to change, you need to walk away for your own sake. You have to be there for your partner, but if they do not want to change and you’ve tried helping them, there is nothing you can do about it. This is why you need to be firm about what you’ll put up with and what you will not stand for.
6. Don’t expect change to happen overnight.
Our Pittsburgh matchmakers want you to understand that your partner will not change overnight. Don’t threaten to leave if they don’t change in a certain amount of time. You must understand that unhealthy habits take time to change. However, there should be signs of improvement. And if there aren’t, you are allowed to leave. If your partner is working hard on their bad habits, and it’s noticeable that they’re making positive changes, stay. But if they’re not, and are continuing to do it, then you need to walk away.
7. Fix the root of the problem before it creeps up again.
When someone turns to unhealthy behaviors, it’s because they’re coping with something or trying to avoid something. To avoid the threat of the bad habits coming back in the future, you must get to the root of the underlying problem.
If it’s a family issue, talk to your partner about what is going on in their family and come up with a solution to the problem. If it’s work-related, then talk to your partner about switching departments or if the company can offer a solution. If it’s a bad habit from an addiction, then seek professional help.
No one wants to be in a relationship with a partner who has bad habits or does unhealthy things. But as their partner, you need to do whatever it takes to help them. With a supportive partner like yourself, your partner will soon be able to beat that unhealthy habit and kick it to the curb where it belongs.
So tell us, were you able to help your partner? What other suggestions do you have for our reader experiencing the same situation? Share your thoughts on our Facebook page.
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